10 simple tricks to appear as indoctrinated as everyone else

Swimming against the current can often mean trouble. Sometimes it’s better to stay under the radar. Fortunately, with these 11 tips, leftists will mistake you for one of their own and you’ll get lost in the crowd!

1 Smile and nod!

AntonioGuillem – iStock

What works for senile old people who only talk confusedly naturally also works for leftists. They are not interested in your opinion. They just want approval.

2 Always be in agreement with 100 percent of their opinion!

For normal people, 80 or 90 percent is a perfect basis for getting along well. It is different with leftists: every disagreement is an unforgivable mortal sin. Therefore it is important that you always share their views exactly 100 percent. 99 percent is too little and would immediately make you look suspicious. 

3 Be suspicious of others!

Being a leftist and denouncing your neighbours go together like a pot and lid. So it is good form to suspect others of having dissenting opinions. Plus, it distracts from you.

4 Find all crazy things admirable!

A permanently masturbating 40-year-old “My little Pony” collector who rolls in diapers in front of the webcam and identifies himself as a 3-year-old girl? Stunning and brave!

5 Find beautiful things ugly and ugly things beautiful!

Regardless of whether it is masterpieces of art, great buildings or good looking people: you must by no means find beautiful things beautiful! If, on the other hand, someone pukes on a canvas, builds a completely crooked house or weighs 500 pounds, then you have to exude admiration.

6 Only argue emotionally and accuse anyone who does not do this as inhuman!

Whatever the case, don’t begin to explain your point of view in discussions. Instead, always refer to diffuse platitudes and subjective feelings. Your moral superiority makes you invulnerable.

7 Feel discriminated against by insignificant little things!

Pronouns, toilets, looks: nothing is too unimportant to not feel offended by it. But don’t make the mistake of complaining like a civilized person. You have to make a scene.

8 Find everything and everyone racist!

Somebody say something against Islam? Racism! Somebody say something against 47 genders? Racism! Somebody says something against you or something that you do, say, believe or think is great? Racism! The accusation of racism is your “infinite ammunition” cheat in real life.

9 Throw superlatives around as if there was no tomorrow!

Don’t get out of bed for anything less than the end of the world and the climate apocalypse. Always ask yourself: Can you go more extreme? If the answer is yes, then you should reconsider your wording.

10 Don’t have a sense of humour!

Perhaps the most important! Everything you do must be dead serious. If someone makes a joke that is even remotely critical of your worldview, get angry and explain to them why their so-called “humor” is problematic.

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